When it comes to navigating the highs and lows of marriage, a good book can sometimes feel like a lifeline. However, not all marriage advice books are created equally. Two standout titles—The Blending of Two Souls and The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman—offer powerful but very different approaches to strengthening relationships. Whether you’re newly engaged, celebrating your 20th anniversary, or stuck in a rut with your partner, choosing the right resource matters.
In this blog, we’ll explore what sets these two books apart, who they’re written for, and how each can support your journey toward a lasting and fulfilling marriage.
Understanding the Foundations of Each Book
What is The Blending of Two Souls About?
The Blending of Two Souls is a modern, spiritually guided take on marriage, exploring the emotional, mental, and spiritual harmony between two people. It looks at marriage not just as a contract or commitment, but as a sacred partnership—a union where two lives and purposes intertwine in meaningful, intentional ways. The tone is deeply reflective, focusing on themes like vulnerability, communication, emotional safety, and faith.
This book is ideal for readers who value introspection and spiritual insight. Rather than offering “how-to” steps, it reads more like a relationship devotional, guiding couples to nurture mutual respect, healing, and growth.
What is The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work?
John Gottman’s The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is widely considered one of the most scientifically-backed marriage books ever written. Based on decades of research at The Gottman Institute, this book outlines seven actionable principles that predict long-term marital success. Gottman’s work focuses on emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, friendship, and communication skills that couples can practice in real life.
Unlike The Blending of Two Souls, this book is highly practical. It offers quizzes, exercises, and real-world scenarios that help couples identify problems and build stronger habits.
Key Differences Between the Two Books
1. Approach to Marriage
- The Blending of Two Souls sees marriage as a spiritual and emotional partnership—a place where healing and soul work happen.
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work takes a psychological and research-based approach, grounding advice in data from thousands of couples.
2. Tone and Style
- The Blending of Two Souls is warm, poetic, and spiritual—perfect for readers who want their marriage advice wrapped in emotion, empathy, and purpose.
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is clear-cut, analytical, and straight to the point, ideal for those who prefer practical frameworks and step-by-step tools.
3. Tools and Techniques
- In The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, you’ll find detailed exercises like the “Love Map,” “Stress-Reducing Conversations,” and the “Four Horsemen” guide for resolving conflict.
- The Blending of Two Souls doesn’t offer worksheets or diagnostics. Instead, it encourages couples to have deep conversations, foster compassion, and lean into love as a transformational journey.
What Makes The Blending of Two Souls Unique?
Unlike most marriage advice books, The Blending of Two Souls touches on emotional wounds, inner child healing, and the connection between faith and commitment. It speaks to couples who may be struggling with past traumas or who want to invite God into their relationship.
Topics often explored include:
- Learning to love beyond pain or ego
- Releasing unrealistic expectations
- Creating a shared vision through faith and intention
- Becoming emotionally and spiritually aligned as partners
This book stands out because it prioritizes connection over correction. It asks: how do you show up for your spouse in the hard moments? How do you support their growth without controlling it? It’s not about fixing your partner—it’s about becoming whole, together.
What Makes The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Stand Out?
John Gottman’s strength lies in his research-based clarity. The book breaks down exactly what goes wrong in marriages—and what can make them thrive. Some of the seven principles include:
- Enhance Your Love Maps
- Nurture Your Fondness and Admiration
- Turn Toward Each Other Instead of Away
- Let Your Partner Influence You
- Solve Your Solvable Problems
- Overcome Gridlock
- Create Shared Meaning
These principles have helped millions of couples because they focus on daily habits, not grand gestures. Gottman even claims he can predict divorce with over 90% accuracy based on how couples argue—a bold but research-backed claim.
Which Book Should You Choose?
Choose The Blending of Two Souls if:
- You’re looking for a faith-based or spiritual perspective on love.
- You or your partner have experienced emotional trauma or inner conflict that impacts your marriage.
- You enjoy reading books that feel like heart-to-heart conversations rather than instruction manuals.
- You’re interested in emotional healing, spiritual growth, and forgiveness.
Choose The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work if:
- You want practical advice grounded in science and relationship psychology.
- You and your partner are dealing with communication problems, ongoing fights, or emotional disconnect.
- You like books that offer quizzes, checklists, and exercises you can do together.
- You prefer structured, evidence-backed content over reflective writing.
Can You Read Both?
Absolutely. In fact, reading both might be the most powerful path forward. While The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work can help you build better relationship habits, The Blending of Two Souls reminds you why you fell in love in the first place—and why that love is worth fighting for.
One book gives you the tools, the other gives you the soul.
What Readers Say
Many readers of The Blending of Two Souls say it changed the way they approach vulnerability in their relationship. Others say it helped them forgive past wounds and be more emotionally available to their spouse.
Meanwhile, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has earned acclaim for saving marriages on the brink of collapse. Therapists, marriage counselors, and even pastors recommend it as a cornerstone for rebuilding communication and trust.
At the end of the day, your relationship deserves attention, care, and wisdom. Whether you lean toward the reflective depth of The Blending of Two Souls or the structured guidance of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, you’re taking a powerful step toward growth.
Relationships aren’t just about surviving—they’re about transforming together. And sometimes, the best way to do that is by reading what others have learned and applying those lessons to your own unique story.
