After many years of education, psychologists do not know how to make or even fix a single thing. In fact, they have no tangible skills. Why would you waste money talking to them rather than a friend or neighbor? What makes them different? It seems obvious that the question in the title should be top of mind for those involved in training new psychologists. It isn’t.
Budding psychologists learn about research methods. They critically review hundreds of experimental studies, and they absorb various theories of personality and psychotherapy. All their education culminates with a year of internship, allowing them to practice what they have learned. But during that time, no one stops to explain to them how to think like a psychologist. No matter how much reading and studying a person does, they will be left without an answer to that critical question.
Neal Ritter, in his book Truth Beyond Words, decided to take the issue head-on. The following is a teaser. To begin with, a psychologist assumes a mantle, a metaphorical persona when they enter the treatment room. They leave their individuality behind to become whatever their client needs them to be. They adjust their communication style by varying eye contact, tone of voice, body language, etc., to fit that of their clients. They develop the flexibility to be passive, assertive, supportive, directive, or empathic to find the best mesh with their clients.
Rather than holding on to their personal concerns, they allow themselves to become absorbed in the world of their clients. The incredible discipline necessary to forget ordinarily all-consuming worries, such as their spouse threatening divorce or the recent death of a parent, becomes second nature. Psychologists listen differently. While they may appear to be participating in the ordinary give-and-take of conversations, they are constantly mindful of what is going on beneath the surface. Rather than focusing on the content of what their clients say, they are ever-vigilant to the process involved in the communication. In other words, they focus more on what is behind their clients’ words than the words themselves.
They conceptualize their clients’ verbal and nonverbal presentations on different levels, constantly forming and testing hypotheses. They probe by using gentle questions based on their ideas and continually adjust their thinking based on their clients’ responses. The thought processes of an effective psychotherapist are continually evolving as they consider each morsel of information as they put together the puzzle. Considerable energy is required to conceptualize multiple levels simultaneously, but the rewards of a successful session serve to re-energize rather than deplete the therapist.
In the back of their minds, psychologists are constantly searching to determine both the overt and the covert needs of each client. Sessions are gradually and often subtly directed to address their clients’ goals. While the development of rapport is critical, it is only a beginning. The client must feel that he or she is being heard and supported. However, the psychologist always keeps in mind the difference between supporting the client and supporting their pathology. Clients are likely to enjoy being patted on the back even as they continue self-sabotaging behaviors. However, a psychologist can be ruthless in pointing out self-defeating patterns of behavior. Timing is critical in recognizing when such confrontations, whether gentle or direct, should take place.
Psychologists don’t need to outthink their clients. On the other hand, they must be able to think differently. It is their job to discover the cognitive traps their clients have unwittingly constructed so they can begin to assist them in finding a way out. Further complicating matters, clients generally do and don’t want to change their problematic thoughts and behaviors. The reason is simple. The old habits are comfortable and familiar. There is a genuine art in knowing when and how much to push. The purpose of psychotherapy is certainly not to force people to fit the goals of the psychologist. Instead, it is necessary to listen carefully and help them discern the right choices.
For example, Mary enters the room obviously distraught because her boyfriend abandoned her. The first job of the psychologist is obviously to provide support. Even in doing so, the therapist must simultaneously step back intellectually. It would be totally inappropriate, even if immediately welcomed, to pat her on the back and tell her that everything is going to be alright. That’s the job of a friend but not of a psychologist.
After providing a modicum of professionally administered solace, the psychologist asks about her recent history. All the while, the psychologist is carefully watching to observe the manner in which Mary delivers each bit of information. As the picture gradually unfolds, the psychologist forms hypotheses concerning how she views relationships and her role in beginning, maintaining, and ending them. Patterns in her ways of thinking and relating are investigated. Gentle questioning is used to learn about her developmental history and how it might relate to problematic thoughts and behaviors concerning relationships.”
Unfortunately for Mary, she is going to be left with inadequately defined problems and no assistance in finding ways to resolve them. An in-depth explanation of the therapeutic process would require an entire book, such as Neal Ritter’s Truth Beyond Words. The book explores the human mind through fictionalized psychotherapy transcripts and personal journals. If you find the contents to be worthwhile, take a deeper dive by reading In the Eyes of God.
And for the sake of the profession, please advise professors to quit messing around and start teaching their students how to think like a psychologist.
